Service industry

I feel strange when the SAs really help me out. Yesterday, I went into Nordstrom to return a handbag (oh my God, the trauma with this bag...I didn't even want to blog it), and the girl very perkily helped me out. She offered to bring out similar bags from the back, and place any that I liked on hold until their big sale next week. She came out with a half dozen bags on her arm. She showed them to me. Took out stuffing so I could try them on more easily. Kneeled down to wrestle them out of their dust bags.

I felt bad. I wanted to reach down and pull her up, tell her that I can unpack my own bags. I am reminded of what the boy's best friend said, about the unhappiness he sometimes detects on the forced cheery facade.

Yet, I remember that I truly did enjoy helping people sometimes when I worked in retail.

But I also remember that my manager looked on my sales numbers to determine next week's hours, which would in turn determine how well I would eat the week after.

I don't know.